Mexican Style Hospitality

Some of you who know me know that I am married to a beautiful Mexican woman. I never really thought that our cultures were that different, as she was raised here in the United States. Boy was I wrong. It's funny as you get to know someone you find out how much the way you were raised has impacted who you have become, often without any thought on many ideologies and opinions that are second nature to you.
I have always loved to entertain. My family didn't entertain much, but I learned to cook at an early age and would enjoy setting the table for my family when I cooked a meal. There are 7 kids in my family, so even though we didn't formally entertain a lot, it always felt like it with so many people around!
As I started working in restaurants and living on my own I continued to entertain. I fondly remember Sunday afternoons while I was living in New York. A couple of my chef friends and I would shop for food (and, of course, booze) and spend the afternoon cooking, eating, and drinking. We usually did it at my place and we had a blast! One of those chefs is now the chef at Thomas Keller's Bouchon Bistro in Beverly Hills and another has become a food scientist and makes flavors for a large commercial food company.
When I met my wife I was cooking for a family in Palm Desert, CA. On one of our early dates I invited her over and cooked a beautiful meal for her. I'm pretty sure that's when she decided that she would marry me! (I'm just kidding, but it's a nice thought!). We never really entertained together during our courtship, so when we got married and I wanted to entertain she was a little hesitant. She felt unsure of which side of the plate the fork went on, how her house would look to our guests, and worried that she might say something wrong. I tried to assure her that guests coming into your home will be thrilled with whatever you give them and that they won't judge you. If they do, they'd never get a second invitation.
I pretty much took over the entire entertaining experience when we were first married. I would set the table, cook, serve, do the flowers, etc. It went on like this for a few months. Then, one day, we went over to her uncle's house for a bar-b-que.
It was a revelation for both of us. What I saw and experienced blew me away. Her family didn't have the nicest linens or china, the food didn't come from Whole Foods, and there was no fine wine or champagne. But the way that they entertained is more pure than any entertaining I have ever experienced. I walked into the home and smells of beans cooking and carne asada grilling filled the home. The house was a-buzz with everyone pitching in to make all of the guests feel at home and help prepare the meal. One of my wife's cousins asked me if I wanted to a Corona, of course I did! I figured there were some in the refrigerator if he was asking, but there was none in the house! So, one of her cousins left to go and get Corona for me! Her aunt asked if I wanted fresh tortillas, and of course I did. I expected that she was already making them for everyone, but she wasn't. She quickly got to making me the most delicious fresh tortillas I've ever had. My wife's uncle was out on the patio happily grilling the carne asada, dousing it with beer occasionally. The meal came together and everyone helped serve it. That scene has been repeated many times since, and it's always as wonderful as if it were the first time I'd experienced it.
What made it so wonderful and gets right down to the essence of entertaining is that the whole experience is done out of love. Whenever we go to any of my wife's families homes, they open their refrigerators and cabinets and offer everything that they have to us, and of course we do the same for them. What my wife got from this experience is that I pointed out that that's what were trying to do when we entertain, pull out everything, make our guests comfortable and loved by our generosity, just as her family does for us. It doesn't matter if we're serving filet mignon or sharing our last piece of bread with our guests, it's that we're showing our appreciation of the mutual love or friendship that we have for one another.